Homeschooling a Perfectionist

One aspect of being a perfectionist that makes homeschooling difficult is the inability to try if one cannot complete something perfect the first time.  Lily has this kind of perfectionism... it comes from her daddy.  'Too much risk if I don't know for sure I can do it perfectly the first time.'  This lends itself to some frustration in trying to be Lily's teacher.  Because if she fails the first time, the world might end!

She LOVES We Three Kings and wants to play it on the piano, so her piano teacher gave her the song to practice.  She tried playing it today and had a complete meltdown.  I admit, it is very hard for me to have patience when she thinks she can do something and finds out she can't yet and decides she no longer likes school or piano or whatever...

But God continues to be faithful.  Today I was trying to think of what would get through to her to encourage her.  Finally, I spoke her language.  I started non-challantly singing in the kitchen about how proud I am of her.  After a minute or two, I heard her start to practice.  It wasn't perfect, but she was actually trying again!  Then she found that inner motivation again.  

She asked me if I could make a CD of her playing.  I said SURE!  I told her I'd video tape her first before the cd (because it's a LOT easier).  I started video taping and she realized she wasn't quite ready yet to be recorded.  I just set the camera down and told her to call me when she was ready for me.  She practiced the song a few more times - without being a grouch!

I came back and video taped... it took three tries (her own choice - not me saying that it wasn't good enough).  I have to toe a very fragile line with her.  I have to be careful with that girl to make sure she sees my pleasure and happiness from who she is and her effort - not solely when she finally gets something "perfect".  I will be joyful WITH her at that moment - when she meets her expectations, but in the meantime, she needs to see that my love and acceptance is a constant and that I appreciate her effort when she can be cheerful and diligent (hmmm... our virtue this week.... hee hee).

So, without further ado, here is Lily playing We Three Kings after about 30 minutes of GREAT EFFORT on both of our parts.  (I think some people think it would/should be easy for me to teach Lily because she is SO smart and SO articulate... but it definitely has it's challenges and this week has been one struggle after another!  As any teacher would, I'm constantly self-assessing and analyzing and critiquing how my teaching is going.  So this little video is a HUGE victory!)